By choosing to be a mother,
She knew she would carry the child for 9 months,
In her expanding womb..
By choosing to become a mother,
She knew she would suffer the indescribable pain of childbirth,
With the added risk of possible tearing.
By choosing to be a mother,
She knew she would come into contact with their impurity to ensure their cleanliness,
While they was a baby.
By choosing to be a mother,
She knew the hardship she would face helping them wash their clothes,
While they were a child.
By choosing to be a mother,
She knew the difficulties she would face in having to reason with them,
While they was still a teenager.
And yet…
Nothing could stop her…
Nothing could stop her from savoring the hope of carrying a living being in her womb.
Nothing could stop her from nurturing the hope of holding this fragile baby, full of promise, in her arms.
Nothing could stop her from cherishing the hope of enjoying the cuddles of this tiny, barely able-bodied child.
Nothing could stop her from holding onto the hope of participating in the intellectual development of this young child, eager to become an adult.
Nothing could stop her from dreaming of being part of this being's life, from its birth to its fulfillment.
Oh...
How unworthy it is...
Unworthy to focus solely on the sufferings of childbirth in faith,
Unworthy to keep these young sheep confined within one's heart,
Unworthy to fear the heartbreak to the point of totally or partially abandoning one's duties,
Unworthy to be excessively indignant at this sheep who struggles, through no lack of will, to achieve a minimum of “holiness”,
Unworthy to abandon a sheep under the pretext of rebellion, rather than invoking the Father of mercy to deliver it from pride,
...
Everlasting God, I have been utterly unworthy...
Forgive my selfishness,
Forgive my blindness to grace.
May I, from this day forward, become a “worthy” spouse.
May I, by Your Grace, seize the privilege You give me to participate in the reproduction of Your species, O Son of the Most High God!
However, unlike the biological mother, for whom such an expectation is quite legitimate,
Please keep me from expecting the “cuddles” of your sheep.
May they all dedicate them to you...
Oh, that I may not become a “Reuben”, defiling his father's bed....
In Christ Jesus, I raise this cry from the heart.
Amen !
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