The nature and measure of love
We all have people we cherish, rightly or wrongly. This is true regardless of our personalities. Sometimes the decisions we make in specific areas of our lives depend on how these people would perceive them. "If I do this, what will my parents think?" "If I do that, what will my friends say?" ... And for the most daring among us, even if they were not afraid of hurting loved ones, they would nevertheless think twice before making decisions so as not to tarnish their own image, so as not to be the subject of gossip.
But here’s the thing: when the stakes become highly serious, we are all ready to put aside our pride, our self-esteem, our precious relationships, to do what we perceive as our duty.
What young man wouldn't be willing to face the mocking stares of his friends, who might think he treats his wife with more consideration than she deserves? What young mother would be ashamed of her child because of a birth defect, to the point of dreading taking them for walks? What son wouldn't publicly defend his parents, whatever criticisms he might have of them in private? ... You could have more edifying examples than these, but the point is simply to emphasize that when circumstances demand it, we will always have a duty in life to face, to oppose those we had previously cherished.
Is this article therefore a call to turn our friends into enemies? Far from it! I am simply reminding you that whenever a stronger value, contrary to those we have held dear until now, presents itself to us, we must sincerely ask ourselves: "What is most important?"
God's method
In the Bible, on many levels, when God wanted to use a person, He first separated them (at least for a time) from their family. There are numerous examples: Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Elijah the prophet, John the Baptist, the Lord Jesus himself, and so on.
Beyond the practical reasons some might find, it so happens that, generally speaking, the people we cherish most on Earth are our family members. And that's normal, but the tragedy arises from the fact that among this number, there are very often some whom we cherish absolutely, that is to say, more than God.
Obviously, it's almost impossible to admit it as it's stated. But when Christ tells us that If any man come to Him, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be His disciple (Luke 14:25-33; Matthew 10:32-42), it's because He knows that the love with which we love them is a boundless love. He is thus calling us to love them with a love whose nature and extent He himself will have defined.
Therefore, we must love our loved ones, but according to God's will. And in time, we must be prepared to be separated from them, perhaps not physically as in most of the cases mentioned previously; but God warns us that we will be persecuted by our relatives if we decide to truly follow Him. It is up to us, then, to accept following Him with full awareness, even at the risk of being mocked by our friends, disowned by our parents, and abandoned by our spouse.
This is not about seeking a cause for quarrel, but the challenge we dread in our hearts will arise when the question of becoming "born again" is posed to us. This opposition will occur, and perhaps it will cause us more pain than we expect. But let us keep this in mind: When we love, we must be ready to endure insults and mockery. If this is true for our beloved child or spouse, as mentioned at the beginning of this article, then it must be even more true for our God, Creator and Savior!
Everlasting God, we pray and beseech You, through Your Holy Spirit, grant us to renounce carnal love for our close relatives and those around us, so that from now on we may love them according to Your will, and therefore to the extent You have determined. May our love for them not be primarily expressed by avoiding upsetting them, but rather by seeking their salvation, their good according to Your will.
Likewise, let us love ourselves according to You, no longer seeking to be in "harmony" with those we love at any costs, but rather seeking peace as far as it depends on us, and above all never betraying You.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Amen!
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