First confrontation with the Truth
Upon reaching adulthood, the first opportunity we have to observe an "appearance" of God is during our marriage. Until then, we had been convinced that we truly loved God, that we were genuinely humble people, until this God, who through the apostle John reveals that one cannot love the unseen God if one does not love the person one sees,1 John 4:20 unites us, He, God, with one of our fellow human beings.
A union, a daily companionship, where we are confronted with our true ego in all its horror, with our true selfishness in its full dimension, with all our flaws, now stripped of any veil. We then enter a true school of self-denial, for the greater good of our marriage, our home; and consequently, we truly begin to love God, at least to a degree never before attained.
Second confrontations with the Truth
The other circumstance in which God most often "appears" in our lives is when each of our children reaches adolescence. This age is often described, somewhat cavalierly, even arrogantly, as the age of rebellion. Indeed, this is a time of great sensitivity for the child, but it is also the age of our "judgment."
Let us imagine water boiling; it is neither completely liquid nor completely vapor. Or let's consider water freezing; it is neither completely solid nor completely liquid. The same is true of an adolescent, who is neither completely adult (that is, mature) nor completely child (that is, immature), both physiologically and mentally. But we will limit ourselves to this second aspect.
The exercise of judgment (When the adolescent practices judging)
Indeed, at this age, our child/son can reason quite maturely on some subjects, while on others they may still be learning. One of the greatest, but also most challenging, challenges for parents is, on the one hand, to discern, as their child grows, which areas they have now reached adulthood and treat them accordingly, and on the other hand, which areas they are still learning and guide them wisely.
In this dynamic, the first people teenagers will be inclined to hold accountable are their own parents, reflecting inwardly on their actions and so often condemning them in their hearts. Thus, if yesterday a parent had finally found a point of "equilibrium" with their partner, this balance so often becomes "threatened" each time a new child reaches adolescence.
Indeed, whether from the excitement of finally being able to use intelligence, or from "naivety" in not finding interest in the delicacy of the choice of words and circumstances, or from revolt at the sight of all this which appears to him as an injustice, the young adolescent will generally condemn each parent for some of their life choices; expressing it in words or by attitudes; these can go so far as to deny this ascendant the legitimacy of wanting to give him a certain education (advice, instructions, ...), because the latter's life is not a model in his eyes. The attentive parent might discern this (silent) condemnation of their offspring.
Mandatory stop (God compels us to a time of meditation)
It is obvious that the goal here is not to celebrate such an attitude in our children, on the contrary, it so happens that the most high God, supreme in his Goodness and Justice, obliges us each time to confront our own life, not necessarily to punish us, but as an ultimate means of saving ourselves or at least of making us gain in humility.
Indeed, while we could once demand that those around us not interfere in our "privacy", it is difficult for us to impose such an attitude on our child, and even if we did, we could not distance ourselves from them because of their persistence, as we would with others who persisted in making "observations" to us.
Thus, after marriage, the adolescent phase of each of our children is a new "appearance" of God in our lives. Our duty, therefore, is twofold.
First parental challenge
It consists of not pretending, but acknowledging to our children (and even more so before God) our past failures. And if we still happen to be living in such disorder (cohabitation of parents, violence of husband against wife, disobedience of wife to husband, infidelity by one spouse, a life of lies or corruption of one or both parents in society, etc.), then God definitively confronts us with our responsibilities: it is of little use to teach our children a so-called model life that we ourselves stubbornly refuse to lead.
If we feel incapable of this, it is precisely the moment to invoke God for a true "appearance," that is, intervention. It is the moment to resolutely give ourselves to Christ Jesus, calling upon Him to come and take complete control of our lives.
Second parental challenge
It's about embracing one's parental role. Once a parent acknowledges their own shortcomings and works to overcome them, they must continue to raise their adolescent, who, precisely, is not yet fully an adult. And to do this, they must in no way relinquish their authority, because our mandate as parents does not come from the quality of our past lives, but from God, who, even in spite of this, has nevertheless sovereignly decided to make us parents, to entrust us with the mission of raising his own creation.
If, by the Grace of God, we have become aware of our past shortcomings, then we are very well placed for the future, because we will continually rely on God, draw inspiration from His Word, the Bible, for the education of our children, and above all, intercede tirelessly so that God Himself may act in the hearts of the latter to preserve them from the "passions of youth" and the various artifices and lies of the evil one.
Universal principle
Finally, let us note that this principle is universal; it holds true in family life, as well as in any mentoring relationship (professional training, leadership development, and above all, in faith in Christ). We must always demonstrate humility. If God can use infants, how much more so can He use an adolescent whose mind is truly awakening.
On the other hand, let us not abandon them under the pretext that they might become arrogant. What parent would abandon a son, especially a teenager, for such a base reason? Let us remember, by grace, that humility is indeed one of the first signs of our maturity and therefore of our legitimacy and our duty to continue our formative or educational mission.
A word to teenagers
If you are a teenager (in body or in faith in Christ) and have stumbled upon this article, then this last paragraph is especially relevant to you.
It is not insignificant that a brief episode from the beginning of Christ's adolescence is recounted in Scripture. Adolescence is indeed the age of spiritual awakening. And at that age, the "adolescent Jesus" knew perfectly well that he was the Son of God, and he reminded his parents of this on that occasion.
However, Luke, who tells us the story, takes care to specify: "And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart." (Luke 2:51).
While the duty of the parent is, like Mary or Joseph (Genesis 37:11), to pay attention to all that is happening in the life of their child in order to raise them before God in prayer and work for the fulfillment of God's purposes in the life of their offspring (or godson), and not to hastily accuse them of being proud as did the brothers of Joseph (Genesis 37:5-8, 9-11 and 12-20) or or even Eliab, David's eldest brother (1 Samuel 17:28), when God began to position these teenagers in their respective callings.
O Lord Jesus Christ, You who, though Creator, accepted to become a child of Your own creatures and to obey them as parents, come and teach us humility.
You, Lord Jesus Christ, who did not spare Your own life, but invested Yourself even unto the supreme sacrifice for those You loved, the poor preachers that we still were, come and teach us in the same way to love those You have entrusted to us, and to fully assume our mission until they reach maturity in the area in which You have "entrusted" them to us: secular or family life, life as disciples of Christ, professional training, etc.
Amen!
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