Generally, from adolescence onward, we dream of one day getting married, having beautiful children, and giving them an excellent education that guarantees them a bright future. Thus, based on our own experiences, the stories of others we hear, and our fantasies, we imagine the precise way in which we envision raising our children. However, in reality, humility and honesty would dictate that, beyond giving them an education that seems appropriate to us, we should have models that we can simply imitate; fortunately, God presents us in the Scriptures with some parents who can serve as examples for us.
One of the greatest responsibilities that God has given to man is, beyond taking care of himself, to also take care of His creatures whom He would send to earth through his womb, or whom He would place under His authority for their early education. We can therefore imagine the immense responsibility that rested on the parents of the infant Jesus, having to be the channel through which the Son of God would come into the world, but above all, the means by which he would be educated as a child. As we can well imagine, given the specific nature of this mission, God chose parents who possessed a certain number of "virtues" that we should all strive to manifest through the empowerment of His Holy Spirit.
Far be it from us to lead anyone to feel irrevocably condemned by the way they have lived their life thus far; rather, we want to encourage those who have not yet succumbed to unhealthy temptations to stay the right course, keeping their eyes fixed on Christ. But if you feel you have already lost everything, then we encourage you to read our article entitled “The 2 Marys”.
Pure fiancés in body
Parents are first and foremost supposed to be spouses; and spouses are supposed to have once been engaged.
We live in a society in total moral decay, where premarital sex has practically become the norm; everyone offers their supposed arguments, but on this subject, the divine sentence leaves no room for ambiguity:
“For the Lord spake thus to me with a strong hand, and instructed me that I should not walk in the way of this people, saying, Say ye not, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid. Sanctify the Lord of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.”
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
Mary, a woman of faith
A wife, being married and therefore sexually active, naturally has some apprehensions when she becomes pregnant. A strange feeling of being pregnant with a completely "foreign" being; some even have nightmares. Unable to stop wondering "what" they will give birth to, this feeling can be heightened in first-time mothers. But with time, they most often manage to overcome this stress through the strength God has given them.
But here is Mary, a virgin who had never known a man, receiving an angel from the Lord who announced that she would become pregnant without the help of a man. Being warned through such a spiritual experience is necessary, but not sufficient to be ready to face such an unprecedented situation, a unique situation in the history of humankind; she needed faith, a firm faith to bravely confront this ordeal. Giving birth to a child without the help of a man… Faith was essential to accept such a challenge; and faith she had, not only to accept this pregnancy, but also to carry it to term.
In our lives as parents, we will always need faith to face, with the Lord's help, the various trials we may encounter. God's glory is at stake, but in reality, so is the well-being of the entire family (parents and children).
Joseph, a just man
When we generally hear of someone just or pious, we picture a person helping those in need, but rarely someone doing their best to protect the one who stabs them in the back; yet such was Joseph's heart. Here is what the Scriptures tell us about him:
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.”
There will always be situations where, within a couple or a family, you, as member, will feel that you have been victim of abuse, wrongdoing, or even betrayal by your partner or child. The question you should then ask yourself is not how to take revenge in the most ruthless way, but rather how to best protect the other person's interests in this unpleasant, even crisis-like, situation. This should always be the predisposition of parents, and especially of every head of household. Even when you feel that your child or spouse is dishonoring you in public, your primary concern should not be to restore your dignity, but to safeguard your authority; not for your own benefit, but rather for that of the other.
Returning to the case we are examining, since Joseph and Mary were not yet married, separation was inevitable in the event of betrayal, but despite what he believed to be a case of deception, Joseph did not hand his fiancée over to public outrage. He chose to “put her away privily”.
Mary, a woman of intercession
Chapter 2 of the book of Luke recounts a series of events that marked the early childhood of Jesus:
- A multitude of the heavenly host joined shepherds to rejoice together at his birth; these shepherds later came to visit him and recounted their experience of the angels' visit;
- The encounter with Simeon, the just and devout man who had been divinely warned that he would see the Lord’s Christ before he died; who prophesied about the child and the mother;
- The encounter with Anna the prophetess, who, a virgin bride, had only lived with her husband for 7 years before becoming a widow and who had remained so ever since until the age of 84, when she met Jesus and his parents in the Temple, a place she never left, serving God day and night in prayer and fasting;
- This “incident” where the parents of the child Jesus, then 12 years old, looked for him on returning from worship in the city of Jerusalem and following which he reminded them that he had to take care of his father's business.
From the very first account (with the shepherds at the birth of the Lord) to the very last (at the age of 12), Luke tells us that Mary treasured in her heart all that was said about her child.
Let's read together:
“And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2: 18-19)
“And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.” (Luke 2: 49-52)
No doubt all that was announced about the life of her son, all that seemed out of the ordinary, even about his own statements or actions, despite him still being a child, was the subject of Mary's meditations, was the subject of her prayers, entrusting to God her questions, her concerns and above all the future of her son, his unprecedented vocation.
We see a similar attitude on the part of Jacob, when his son recounted the dream he had had in which the sun, the moon and eleven (11) stars made obeisance to him; while his brothers envied him, it is said of his father that he “observed the saying”. (Genesis 37: 5-11)
As parents, it often happens that God informs us very early about the vocation of our children, the mission of their life; therefore it is our imperative duty to accompany them in prayer, to pay particular attention to everything that happens in their lives, so that through God's wisdom, we can better refine our prayer topics concerning them. It is certainly not a question of behaving like Rebekah, who, knowing God's plan for Jacob, sought to fulfill it herself, through her own flesh (Genesis 25:21-23; 27:1-45), rather than being a woman of intercession and, if necessary, sharing the revelation she had received with her husband, as did Manoah's wife, who became the mother of Judge Samson (Judges 13:1-24).
Jesus, a responsible elder son
We readily admit that this last chapter does not closely align with the title of the article; but you can connect it to it by considering it as a consolation for Marie, an exemplary mother.
It is generally accepted that Joseph likely died before the beginning of Christ's ministry, as he does not appear in any of its events. We should also remember that until the time of the new covenant, widows were somewhat vulnerable in society, no longer having husbands to defend and care for them. In his first letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul reminds us that it is the responsibility of children in such circumstances to take care of their own (1 Timothy 5:3-4, 8, 16).
Jesus, although he was the Son of God, also knew how to be on earth the firstborn of a family and in this respect did what was fitting for his widowed mother, to place her under a roof where her needs would be met.
“Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.” (John 19: 25-27).
A final word
It is an excellent thing to intercede tirelessly for the fulfillment of God's will for your children; but this is only the second aspect of your calling, for it concerns you only as a parent, while the first aspect of your calling concerns you simply as a creature of God. And God's calling for you is indeed that you be His child, believing in and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ, His only Son, whom He offered as the means by which you would be saved; who was crucified by men, but resurrected and exalted by God the Father, who seated Him at His right hand; henceforth making Him the firstborn of many brothers, of whom you will be one. God is the perfect Father, therefore becoming his child by accepting Christ is not only the only way to be saved, but also the only way to benefit forever from his Grace and Peace here below.
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If this is your heart's disposition, then we invite you to sincerely repent before God, committing yourself to follow Him from now on. Address Him as a Father, and remind Him that it is in the name of His Son that you approach Him in this way. Implore Him to baptize you in water in the name of Jesus, and also to baptize you with His Holy Spirit, thus marking you with His Seal as a child of God.
In Christ Jesus!
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